Larry and Emilee

Heroes to Others

Today while sitting at church in Marble Falls, Texas I thought about my neighbor, Marge, who had invited me to go to the church with her ten years prior.

David and I purchased a small golf villa next door to her and her husband Chuck’s. For nine years they were great neighbors, as David and I shared our time between Kansas City and our getaway next door to them.

Marge and Chuck aged. Chuck didn’t golf any more, and they decided to move back to Houston where their children lived. Not even a year into their return, Marge was diagnosed with cancer and subsequently died. She was beautiful. Gray-haired and dignified. She loved merlot wine and taking care of their home and Chuck. She became a mentor for me as I settled into a neighborhood of older couples, most of them having lived in the area for years. She made sure I knew who was who in the resort and included me in activities when I visited our home there alone.

While missing Marge this morning, I went through the motions of the church service. Praying, singing and listening to the sermon. “You can’t be a blessing to the world if you stay only in your safe zone,” I heard the minister say. I believe he was talking about the older man Abram, of the Bible, who was sent to a place he had never been for reasons he didn’t know. The minister talked in-depth about how when we take it upon ourselves to do something new, even if we are afraid of it we become blessed and in turn bless others.

My Sister, My Hero

My sister TrishaLast month, my older sister, Trisha, died after a long illness. After her initial treatments of chemotherapy and radiation ten years ago, she became debilitated and weak. The very chemicals that in turn killed her cancer had damaged her heart. Trisha had shown such courage as she became more and more dependent on her husband, Larry, to care for her. For long periods of time she was home bound and even chair bound.

Regardless of her physical status, though, she was Nana to her granddaughter, Emilee, who lived with her grandparents. Even when David and I drove to Oklahoma six weeks ago, Emilee, now twelve years old, interrupted her Papa. Trisha weakly asked her to come get in the chair with her. She softly explained to Emilee that she should not do that. She kissed Emilee’s cheek.

In the month before Trish died, family members visited her, Larry, and Emilee. We all witnessed her strength. At times she would express she was afraid to die. “Just not ready to let go.” That was brave, too. Who would be ready to die, knowing you were leaving a twelve-year-old girl to be raised by her grandfather? A cowboy, at that, I say with a smile as I think about Larry who was a bull rider in the rodeos when he was young.

Funeral Wreath to HeroesTrisha left her safe zone with her head held high. In her bravery, I believe that she was indeed blessed, and through her, we were all blessed. She planned her own funeral. The local firemen were her pallbearers. Our nephew, Greg, gave her eulogy. Precious pictures of her life flashed up on a screen to her favorite Garth Brooks song, The Dance:

“I’m glad I didn’t know
The way it all would end
The way it all would go.
Our lives are better left to chance.
I could have missed the pain.
But I’d have had to miss the dance.”

Heroes for All of Us

I don’t use my blog to promote religion, but to lift up heroes. My neighbor, Marge, and my sister, Trisha, were first their own heroes, and through their grace and dignity they become yours and mine.

Comments 11

  1. Mary Bruce
    March 14, 2017

    Helen thank you for this beautiful blog. You always say things so beautiful and graceful. I love the picture of Emilee and David. I looked over at them when they were talking. That is a picture of concern and love. I loved my Sister Trish so much and for quite a while I would end our conversations saying to her, get well I want my sister back, not knowing how much I was really going to miss her

    1. Pam Forbes
      March 15, 2017

      Trish was so kind and giving of the heart. She helped me get through the death of my mother due to a car accident. She was an angel on Earth and now is an Angel in heaven who is deeply missed and deeply loved. Helen, your writing is so thoughtful and describes your sister as if she helped you write. She knew she was loved and we will all see her again.

  2. Sherrilynn Bosler
    March 14, 2017

    Helen this is so beautiful. Loved Trish so much. Thanks

  3. Treve Coyle
    March 15, 2017

    Helen this is a beautiful loving tribute to Trish and your friend! Thank you.

  4. Mary Shay
    March 15, 2017

    Helen love your observations and wisdom. You are my blessing as you have always gotten me out of my safe zone! Love you!

  5. Deana Beneventi
    March 15, 2017

    Trish and Larry were our first friends when we first moved to Oklahoma. Trish took us under her wings. Little did I know then the angel wings were real. She was love; she was strength; she was my friend.

  6. Jana Loewen
    March 15, 2017

    Beautifully written Helen! Trish was my hero, too♡ Friends for 40+ years, we had so many things in common. We were both Preachers Kids and knew what it was like to go to many different schools. She was “another Mother” to our 3 kids. We shared so many great times together. She was a strong person and fought to the last breath! We’ll see you later sweet friend♡ BFF

  7. Martha Harris
    March 15, 2017

    Thank you Helen for these words! I believe every person who crosses your life path God placed there with intent! I have been blessed by so many great ladies in my life. Trisha was a great lady and sister and we were blessed to have her. She was also my sister and I loved her and she will be misssd

  8. Micki Christian
    March 15, 2017

    What beautiful tributes to both Marge and Trish…you have a special gift. This made me stop and think about the “heroes” in my life. Thanks for sharing.

  9. David Sugeno
    March 27, 2017

    Beautiful, thank you! Marge was one of my heroes too!

    1. Helen
      April 4, 2017

      I keep thinking about getting our of my comfort zone. It’s so easy to stay tucked in safely!

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